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Post by CandyKANE on May 2, 2002 12:35:03 GMT -5
1)My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave a message we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2)Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon, if you leave a sexy message I'll call sooner.
3)Hi! I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
4)A is for academics, B is for beer, one of those reasons is why were not here. So, leave a message.
5)Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of recieving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you are still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
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Post by jody on May 2, 2002 15:42:34 GMT -5
those were funny i like the last one the best |
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Post by MCoLe on May 2, 2002 15:58:27 GMT -5
I have my own on my cell phone:
Hello?......Hello? What?.....I can't hear you! Oh wait, i'm not hear, leave a message...
LOL...that pisses so many people off..
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Post by Edgehead1 on May 6, 2002 20:02:55 GMT -5
lol! Very nice, candy. I have the same thing as MCole on my phone  |
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Post by Sid_Vicious on May 6, 2002 21:22:18 GMT -5
Funny ;D
if anybody has some more, post em!
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Post by CandyKANE on May 30, 2002 7:42:02 GMT -5
I found some more:
1)"Suicide Hotline...please hold."
2)Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
3)Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
4)(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms wind milling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
5)Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
6)Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
7)This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
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Post by CandyKANE on May 30, 2002 7:42:59 GMT -5
8)Hi. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
9)Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
10)You have reached 555-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
11)Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
12)Hi, I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
13)Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
14)Hi. Now you say something.
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Post by CandyKANE on May 30, 2002 7:43:49 GMT -5
15)Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
16)Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
17)(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP.
18)(Start, low pitch, slow:) Hhhhheeelllllloooooo thheeeerrrrrrre evvvvveerrrryyyboooodyyyy... (Middle, normal:) ...home of Veronica, Jaw-Chyi, Mark, and Mike. Nobody's home... (Later, high pitch, fast:) ...liketoleaveamessageafterthetonethen...(End, incomprehensible chipmunk gibberish:).kkfjdkeirucjkljfklreudjfkleqBEEP.
19)Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right....real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
20)I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
21)I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
22)(woman taped off a "phone sex" service) WOMAN : (seductively) Hi. I'm
Linda. You know, it can be really lonely when you're a fashion model.
Sometimes I just have to ... YOU : (interrupting) Oh c'mon, Linda, give
me the damn phone... (then ask for a message)
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