Post by Shadow on Feb 16, 2003 16:53:30 GMT -5
I reccomend giving this to everyone, my friends keep sending me this stuff, but it's hella good!
> Subject: For Men Tired of Receiving Male Bashing Jokes
>
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a
> woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be
> able to support you.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
> closer to the kitchen sink.
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do men break wind more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
> pressure.
> ----------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up
> once you let him in.
> ----------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> --------------------------------------
> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> ----------------------------------------
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months....I don't like to interrupt
> her.
> ---------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
> by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
> ----------------------------------------
> Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
> ----------------------------------------
> Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I
> said, "Dust!"
> ----------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created
Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man
>
> has rested.
> ------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
> ----------------------------------------
> A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
> said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said,
> "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> ----------------------------------------
> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
> man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> ----------------------------------------
> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted." The
> next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
> "You can have mine."
> ----------------------------------------
> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
> once.
> ----------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
> with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
> Subject: For Men Tired of Receiving Male Bashing Jokes
>
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a
> woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be
> able to support you.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
> closer to the kitchen sink.
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do men break wind more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
> pressure.
> ----------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up
> once you let him in.
> ----------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> --------------------------------------
> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> ----------------------------------------
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months....I don't like to interrupt
> her.
> ---------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
> by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
> ----------------------------------------
> Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
> ----------------------------------------
> Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I
> said, "Dust!"
> ----------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created
Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man
>
> has rested.
> ------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
> ----------------------------------------
> A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
> said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said,
> "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> ----------------------------------------
> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
> man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> ----------------------------------------
> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted." The
> next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
> "You can have mine."
> ----------------------------------------
> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
> once.
> ----------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
> with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
